Thursday, April 21, 2016

Maegan Loveless

Title of picture- Fathers Day 2012
Author- Did not say

https://docs.google.com/a/roanokecityschools.org/document/d/1EXZoF0wYfJuptMibmU2ORV5YJkd1iL6YiebBxqzWMnw/edit?usp=sharing

2 comments:

  1. I really like the second sentence in the first paragraph because I think we all can agree how true it is. In the third paragraph I would change "there are mixed emotions" to "they have mixed emotions" just to tell how the family felt in a more clear way. In the last paragraph I would put a space in between the comma after the title of the story and the word "we".

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  2. I really like the second sentence in the third paragraph because when you think you have nothing, you always have family. In the third paragraph I would reword the first and third sentences, to show that most people that come from a bad household want to be successful to get the things they never had growing up. In the fourth paragraph, I would change "these things" to "such qualities" to make the paragraph more detailed.

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